Creativity and the “F” Word

 

I fluffed up my hair, put some lipstick on and hit the button on my computer: 3-2-1 – Wheeee !!! I am live on my first Videoconference on Zoom. I had set the date (after 3 years of procrastinating and wanting to do something like this!) to do a one-hour videoconference for anyone who wanted to learn more about being a positive message musician. I had NO idea if anyone would show up, I knew nothing about all the mechanics of how to mute/unmute participants or any of the technical aspects, let alone all the other features of this that any millennial would have down cold. But it was time. I wanted to see how I could connect with people in a new way and this was my entry into this world. The next day I even did a Facebook Live event to talk about my women’s retreats coming up. Two big stretches in two days! I was exhausted!

 

The lesson I learned from all of this was: JUST DO IT! I write so many songs that have the theme of letting go of the idea that I have to be perfect, lightening up about all of it and just trusting that it will all work out. But the truth is all my fears came up for me in these two techie events. I had truly held the belief for many years that I was too “challenged” around anything to do with technology, that I wouldn’t look good on camera, that social media and I were not a fit – and a million other excuses. But the main thing that kept me from trying it was I was scared. Scared of failing, of doing it wrong, of getting flustered, or messing up in some way. With every CD I have put out, with every song I have written, with every retreat I facilitate there is always that risk, and yet something always moves in me to press past that fear and go for it anyway. I think that is what creativity is all about for me: my desire to express what is in my heart outweighs my fears and vulnerability and “forces” me to keep moving forward.

 

So in order to be creative I need to risk failing – every time. 

 

When I write songs the main thing I have to do is let go of thinking it needs to be perfect – especially when I am co-writing with others. Creating a safe space within myself to allow whatever needs to be expressed to flow out without editing or judging it is the key. In other words, I have to be okay with having it initially be bad or not make sense, with the freedom to come back later and start to work with whatever is there and hopefully mold and craft it into something that I am happy with.