Perfectly Imperfect

Perfectly Imperfect 

“I’m not here to be small, to compare, to judge (myself or you), to fit in or to be perfect. I’m here to grow, to learn, to love, to be human.”
Sue Fitzmaurice

When my friend Janet was in the last days of her life, she asked me a profound question.    

“So, is this what life is all about – just giving and receiving love? “

She had been admitted to Hospice and thought that she only had a few weeks left to live. When it was taking longer than she had expected, she had the luxury of time; time to visit with friends, time to read all the posts on Facebook of people sharing what she meant to them, time to read all the letters that people were sending telling her what a profound difference she had made in their lives. Janet was a spiritual healer – she taught classes, prayed with people, gave her whole being over to serving. And now, finally, with nothing else on her plate to keep her busy, all she could do was receive the love that she had given out so freely for so many years.

“So, is this what life is all about – just giving and receiving love?

In that one simple question she taught me the main ingredient to a well lived life. Just give your love to people through kindness, caring, listening, showing up … and be willing to receive it when it comes back to you; open your heart to it, take a deep breath and really let it in and feel it. 

I remember when my dear friend Brian died.  At his memorial people were sharing how much they admired him, loved him, how funny he was, talented, what a difference he made in their lives and in their work – and yet, I know that Brian would be amazed that people were saying this about him. I don’t think he ever really felt it, ever really heard it, ever really let himself know how much he was loved.

It is now February, Valentine’s month – the month of love – and I am here to shout it from the rooftops; let’s not wait – let’s get it now, let’s just drop all the self- criticism and that overworked inner critic and give ourselves a break. Let ourselves really know we are loved and fabulous – flaws and all. As my friend Ann Pogue says – “We Are All Perfectly Imperfect!”  The author Geneen Roth just wrote about her mother, who declared to her; “I am finally at peace.” At 94 years old she decided to stop obsessing about her weight or wearing makeup, and just spend her days doing the things that she really wants to do – like playing Bingo for hours on end.  Geneen said she is happy for the first time in 9 decades!

So let’s not wait till we are 94 to be at peace with ourselves. I wish you all a day or month (or year or lifetime!)  of love for yourself and love for each other, and let’s heal this world with love!