Lean Into It

Lean Into It

“The more you practice tolerating discomfort, the more confidence you’ll gain in your ability to accept new challenges.”  Amy Morin

“Sometimes comfort zones are the best. Sometimes discomfort is just what the doctor ordered.”  Aesop Rock

“Is your mother comfortable?” the hospice nurse asked me. 

I realized that was her way of asking does she need more pain killers to keep the pain at bay in her final days of being alive. Comfortable – what a loaded word.

The word “comfortable” is something I am looking at right now.  I want to be comfortable in my life – with my finances, my health, my relationships. But lately I have been feeling stuck and I wonder if it’s just the seduction of feeling “safe” in my familiar comfort zone. What would it take for me to move into some of the discomfort that could lead to more aliveness? 

Many of you have heard me talk about my love for swimming in the San Francisco Bay. It’s one place where I truly have to embrace discomfort – in this case, the cold water (and I admit it’s always a challenge to get in!). However, I know from the years of doing it that the reward is so great when I am done, it overrides the initial discomfort. What is amazing to me, though, is the new craze of people doing “ice baths.” 

Yep, you got it – they sit in a tub of ice cubes or just cold water for a short amount of time, and deal with the discomfort by doing deep breathing. For some reason I can swim in the bay, but the idea of an ice bath feels daunting.  Many people use it as a spiritual practice, but also for helping with inflammation in their body. One of my favorite authors, Cheryl Richardson, said about her daily ice bath: “I do it because it trains me to be comfortable with discomfort – a superpower I’ve grown to appreciate.”  Check out her video explaining the deeper reasons to do this:  Cheryl Richardson – Why I Love Cold Water

I am practicing moving out of my comfort zone – not running away, not resisting, not shutting down – but embracing, breathing, and seeing what happens when I lean into it and get to the other side. This usually includes using a little bit of courage and inner resilience to move through something. I have seen in my life that learning to lean into discomfort means learning to face my fears head on and overcoming them.

So when do we push and when do we just let it be? My friend Robyn Posin wrote the wonderful line in my song, Gentle With Myself, saying “I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.” Maybe it’s that idea of checking in with ourselves to see what is true and asking: Am I procrastinating when it really is time to make a move? Or am I seeing where I need to stretch but I am not quite there yet? 

I have learned if I am not hearing my inner critic saying anything to me, 

I probably am not stretching enough. What a reframe! So now when she starts repeating old, tired statements like, “Who do you think you are?” or “You can’t do that – you’re gonna fail!” I know I am stretching and hopefully growing. It helps to use this quote from Abraham: “I am willing to let it unfold in the perfect way.”    

So are you stuck in any comfort zones in your life?